Stories about duck sex kinda write themselves

Many a callow 9th-grader has heard the rhyming tale of Dan McGlock, the only man with the corkscrew… uh, you know.

Now comes word from Yale, of all places, that female ducks have evolved a way to reduce the amount of forced copulation by undesirably aggressive male ducks — and the result is reminiscent of poor Dan McGlock. Dan met his demise after he discovered that the target of his affections “had a left-hand thread.”

Can’t get much more lowbrow than that, YALE. Here, go read for yourselves.